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So, time to come clean.

I had done really well through the first part of the year, but lately I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit. I’ve cheated a few times and been jerking off (yes, all the way) more than I should.

There was an incident right before pride where I was checking out this really hot guy on xtube by the name of sabulum and just couldn’t keep it in any more. Especially with this video:

Something about how nervous he seems, but still goes through with what his dick is telling him to do, talking himself through it, and showing everything in the process, is really really hot. Even better that he’s so damn cute, and in that video locked in chastity too. Can’t help but wonder what the story there is. The videos of him leaving his apartment building buck naked also really got me off.

So, including my “bonus” cumshot, that would be my 8th load of the year.

Except, well, I did have a couple weaker moments earlier in the year, because of the problem I described in this post. These were always right after another cumshot, though, so really all part of the same event. So really when I say eight times cumming so far, I really mean that I’ve cum on 8 different days. And only 8 different days. For my own sanity I think I have to give myself a few hours grace period like that—which, for the record, I’ve only made use of twice, and still try to avoid—to keep up with the spirit of this whole challenge of going as long as possible between each orgasm.

Anyway, that happened back on June 24th, but here we are in July. There were a couple more times this week, once two days ago and once tonight, where I really have no excuse other than just jerking off to porn only and not having the self control I needed. So, those are shots 9 and 10. Without really any explanation. Totally a waste! Though it felt good at the moment I know it would be been so much more fun to save them up.

As part of all this, I revamped the Stats page a bit, so that I now have a table of each individual day that I’ve shot a load, plus how long it had been since the last one, and a link to the post where I describe what happened. I think this setup will be easier for me to keep up to date, which means it’ll keep me honest!

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Back in my first post I said that not cumming for a while would, among other things, make me more submissive. I need to clarify that statement.

Yes, it may make me willing to submit to some of the more daring things Hawk or others suggest, but that’s at least as much because I’m more willing to give in to what I want to do without over thinking it as becoming more submissive generally.

Another obvious side effect is that it makes me really want to cum. But it’s not just that; after about a week the need to cum started to transition into this need to make it really worth the wait. Jerking off is fun an all but I’ve been saving up this load for two weeks now and I want to make it count. And that means I want to fuck you.

Time without cumming: 14 days, 6 hours

Now since it’s been so long, I don’t expect I’ll be able to hold off very long once I get inside. I also know from experience, though, that after this long shooting once isn’t going to completely release the pressure, which means after I cum inside you once I’m going to keep going, for longer and harder, until I fill you up a second time.

The downside to this feeling is that I know since I won’t be able to back off from shooting my load once I get inside some hot little slut, I can’t really risk indulging in fucking anyone until at least February. What was once a desire to jerk off for the sake of making it count but knowing I can’t has transitioned to being ok with not jerking off but wanting to fuck instead, and still knowing I can’t.

I haven’t decided if, given this state, what follows will help me relieve the tension by living vicariously through my past self, or if it will only tease me with more of what I can’t have, but in honour of this feeling I posted my first video on xtube under the name TheRealGregNaked. It was filmed in September so this cumshot is a freebie. Enjoy.

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