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So, time to come clean.

I had done really well through the first part of the year, but lately I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit. I’ve cheated a few times and been jerking off (yes, all the way) more than I should.

There was an incident right before pride where I was checking out this really hot guy on xtube by the name of sabulum and just couldn’t keep it in any more. Especially with this video:

Something about how nervous he seems, but still goes through with what his dick is telling him to do, talking himself through it, and showing everything in the process, is really really hot. Even better that he’s so damn cute, and in that video locked in chastity too. Can’t help but wonder what the story there is. The videos of him leaving his apartment building buck naked also really got me off.

So, including my “bonus” cumshot, that would be my 8th load of the year.

Except, well, I did have a couple weaker moments earlier in the year, because of the problem I described in this post. These were always right after another cumshot, though, so really all part of the same event. So really when I say eight times cumming so far, I really mean that I’ve cum on 8 different days. And only 8 different days. For my own sanity I think I have to give myself a few hours grace period like that—which, for the record, I’ve only made use of twice, and still try to avoid—to keep up with the spirit of this whole challenge of going as long as possible between each orgasm.

Anyway, that happened back on June 24th, but here we are in July. There were a couple more times this week, once two days ago and once tonight, where I really have no excuse other than just jerking off to porn only and not having the self control I needed. So, those are shots 9 and 10. Without really any explanation. Totally a waste! Though it felt good at the moment I know it would be been so much more fun to save them up.

As part of all this, I revamped the Stats page a bit, so that I now have a table of each individual day that I’ve shot a load, plus how long it had been since the last one, and a link to the post where I describe what happened. I think this setup will be easier for me to keep up to date, which means it’ll keep me honest!

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Ok, now that pride has officially started, I need to take advantage of all the hot guys in town. It didn’t take long to find someone on Grindr that wanted to use me. There’s no need to describe what happened, since he was more than willing to get it on video, and was looking forward to posting it online himself.

For those of you on Tumblr, it’s got thousands of notes now, so feel free to reblog it! (click here).

For the rest, watch it on xtube:

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I’m way behind on posts. Finally posting this on August 10th, working through about a month of back posts. I’ve been keeping drafts to makes sure the timing and number of cumshots is still accurate, but unfortunately the write-ups might not be as long and detailed until I catch up…

It’s World Pride this year in Toronto, and I really wanted to save up for a while before Pride itself so I’d be really wound up and ready to have quite a bit of fun.

Number of times cumming in 2014: 5 (plus 1 bonus shot; only 7 left!)
Current time without cumming: 13 days, 2 hours

With almost two weeks built up already I am already really horny, and already psyching myself up to get some action. Pride officially started tonight and though the parade isn’t for another week, I was thinking a lot of people might already be in town and looking to get off. I decided not to wait, and go slut it up at the bathhouse as a kind of opening ceremonies for myself.

Unfortunately my great reasoning didn’t quite work out, and the bathhouse wasn’t quite as hopping as I was hoping it might be. There were a fair number of people around, but not the hot crowds that pride promised.

I did spend some time on my knees in the dark room / play maze area and sucked a few cocks. There were a couple hot guys floating around; one really fit asian guy that I liked feeling up as he leaned up against the wall and I was on my knees servicing. I probably took two or three loads in the face and swallowed one before deciding to take a break—and this is without really even seeing the guys, it being so dark.

I went down to the wet area, rinsed off in the showers, and went into the steamroom. The layout of this place has a big glass wall facing the showers, and because it’s darker in the steamroom you can sit there and watch guys showering or walking by to the hot tub. It’s a good way to see who is around. One guy in particular caught my eye at this point: probably early to mid twenties, tall, dark hair, kind of lanky but well defined, and wearing, of all things, a pair of running sneakers. Not your usual footwear in the showers.

He came in to the steamroom and sat a little ways away from me. He seemed like he was actively ignoring everybody, like a closeted guy desperately trying to avoid looking at someone’s junk in a high school locker room. Definitely the hottest guy around, though. I tried catching his eye but he was determined to stay staring at that spot on the wall. A couple guys did approach him, touched his leg, but he immediately pushed their hands away and said “No thanks, I’m good”. Ok, so maybe this guy really isn’t interested in doing anything.

I’ve never been one for sitting in the heat for long, so I got up, had another quick rinse in the showers, and then walked down to the hottub. I was still trying to catch his eye, smile at him, make sure he saw where I was headed, just in case he was paying attention out of his peripheral vision.

After only about a minute, he came out of the steam room and walked down to the hot tub (setting his sneakers neatly by the side with his towel before getting in). There were two other guys in there who greeted us as we got in. He said “Hi” politely, and this time we briefly made eye contact as he got in, but there wasn’t much communication after that. At least here he was watching the porn, glancing around the room a bit, and I hope checking me out a bit. I’m pretty sure he knew I was playing with myself under the water. But again, I knew he wasn’t going to be the most approachable. I figured my best chance was just to make it known I was interested, not come on to strong, and hope he would come to me.

I knew nothing was going to happen in the hot tub with these other guys around, so I decided to move back to the steam room, and this time definitely made eye contact with the guy as I left. Ok, I thought, this is it. If he follows, I know he’s interested, but if not, then I’ll give up and move on.

Sure enough, less than a minute later he was back in the steam room—sneakers back on—and taking a seat about two feet away.

I started to play with myself under my towel, still not wanting to come on too strong to scare him away, but still making it clear that I was getting off on checking him out. He was watching out of the corner of his eye, still seeming kind of skittish, but soon he was scooching along be bench a bit, getting closer, and before long his hand was on my leg. Game on.

Almost right away he leaned over and started kissing me. Hot, I thought, that a guy who I thought seemed nervous about hooking up with a guy at all, just dived right in. I was really enjoying making out with this guy as he jerked me off and my hands were all over his nice tight body. Others in the room started taking interest, and as always happened, started moving in to take part. This is bad, I thought; I already know he’s not into these guys. He pushed their hands away again, but they stayed where they were right beside and in front of us watching. Every once in a while a hand would start to wander and again we’d have to move it.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” he said.

“Do you have a room?” I asked. Usually I have no interest in going to a guy’s room (if I wanted to have sex in private I’d have just invited someone over to my place from Grindr), but for this guy I might make an exception.

“No, do you?”

“No, but we can find somewhere.”

We got up and headed upstairs, to the dark area, where I knew there were lots of dark corners. Once we were in a spot that I thought might be pretty well sheltered, I pushed him up against the wall, took his towel off, and got down to my knees.

It wasn’t long before we had an audience again, though. If they just behave themselves, I thought, maybe we’ll be ok. He did have to say “no thanks, we’re fine” a couple times. As if to shake off the mosquitoes, he pulled me up and got us to change positions. There was a little stool against the wall where I sat, and now he was on his knees sucking me off.

I know he wasn’t into the guys around, which in a weird way made it even hotter that he was down sucking me off in front of all of them.

Unfortunately, this also made him a bit more vulnerable, not able to see guys coming up and his hands occupier. I did my best fending off the other guys. Fuck, this was getting annoying. One guy in particular started touching my buddy, I pushed him off and said “no thanks”, but without even a polite pause he immediately put his hands back on. This time I took his wrist firmly and moved his hand away, saying “no”. Approaching once is fine, and even if I’m not into a guy I won’t hold it against a guy for trying, but fucking learn what “no” means. For a third time, this guy not only starts touching us again, but actually crouches down to get closer to my friend, as if to hump him from behind. I’ve had enough now, I push him off, firmly enough that he has to take a step back to steady himself, and say loudly enough for anybody else watching to hear clearly “We said NO”.

This was—understandably—the last straw for my guy, and he got up, saying “I can’t do this with these guys around”. Fuck. I go with him, hoping that there’ll still be another chance, and I remember that there are actually some private booths around.

I tell him, and though he seems like he’s a bit done with this, he does follow me to the other side of the dark area and into one of the booths. The first one doesn’t latch, and we joke that everything is working against us at this point, but the second one works fine. I’m a little worried that the trolls from before will have followed is and might start pawing at us through the numerous glory holes, but we luck out and are left alone.

Both towels are on the group in no time, and after a bit more making out, I get down onto my knees to finish what I started before. He’s into it, holding my head, running his hands through my hair, and soon I’m swallowing his load. I stand up, happily he’s still willing to kiss, and then surprisingly—I was sure once he came he’d be done—he moved down and started sucking me off again.

Though I had lost my high a bit from those pushy guys earlier, all the hormones came rushing back, thinking about cute guy sucking me off and potentially giving him my load. I figured after what has been a very mixed experience for this guy (I’m hoping the part with me swallowing his load made some of it worth it) I didn’t want to disappoint this guy. I let myself get close to the edge, wondering if this is how I wanted to spend my 6th load, and knowing that I really really wanted to let this guy have it.

I started to indicate I was getting close, and though he kept sucking for a bit, he did stop long enough to say “can I just jerk you off to finish?”

Fuuuuck.

Looking back on it, I should have just said it was alright, I didn’t need to cum (something I’ve gotten used to saying) but I was too close to really think rationally about it. So I just said “sure” and let myself explode, shooting cum all over him and the wall behind him. Damn that felt good. I would have preferred he swallow it, but it was still hot coating him in two weeks of cum. Probably more than he expected. If he was a neophyte, nervous about doing something with a guy, there was no denying that he had just had cock in his mouth and made a guy orgasm given how much of my cum was all over him.

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Saturday afternoon, a friend of mine was having a summer kick-off barbeque, full of lots of hot gay guys. Just the kind of thing to get me boned up and fantasizing about all sorts of porn movie style plot twists. This is where I am going into it:

Number of times cumming in 2014: 4 (plus 1 bonus shot; only 8 left!)
Current time without cumming: 56 days, 17 hours

Definitely due. But at this point I’m also thinking that pride is just a few weeks away and it might be worth saving up for that..

Despite my porn-movie fantasies, I wasn’t really thinking that anything would happen here. There were a couple guys there that I have hooked up with before and would consider doing again, but I’m not the type to initiate anything… usually.

There was one guy in particular that I’ve had a lot of fun with in the past, and I knew if I was going to get off with anybody it was going to be him. My first time with him was taking him home from a bar with my boyfriend-at-the-time (my ex now), and being so eager to get going that after making out and fingering him in the cab ride home, we stripped him down in the elevator and was face fucking him by the time we got to my floor. Inside his clothes were left on the floor by the door while the two of us stripped. In no time he was on the bed on all fours and I was inside him while my ex jerked off and watched me pound him. Since this was after an evening of lost of flirting and teasing, it didn’t take me long to shove it in deep and bust my load. I pulled out and passed this guy’s ass over to my ex and he took his turn without missing a beat.

That probably over a year ago now, but still every time we see each other we’re more handsy than I am with anybody else and there’s a definite sense in the air that we could fuck at any moment.

It wasn’t exactly on purpose, but after a bit of flirting with him on and off and chatting with some of my other friends, I lost track of him, and thought I would take a break to go up to the washroom. Turns out, that’s where he had gone too. The two of us were waiting outside the only bathroom, very innocent, when the guy using it came out and past us going back downstairs. As this hot little guy moved to go into the bathroom, I grabbed his arm and diverted him into the host’s bedroom instead.

He immediately grabbed my head and we started making out, no question about someone noticing we had gone or coming into the room to catch us. As I grabbed his crotch and he grabbed mine, he made to move away and head back out to the bathroom as planned, I guess being satisfied with our clandestine make-out session. I, however, wasn’t, so said “wait” as I undid my shorts and got my cock out.

Despite being a bit concerned about being caught now, he bent down and started sucking. I was hard in no time and enjoyed my hand on the back of his head, thrusting in and out, enjoying the fact that there was a party going on just outside the window in the backyard.

Again he pulled off, apparently in a hurry to get out, but again I said “wait”, and added “you’re going to swallow it.” The look in his eyes was this hot kind of submission, giving away that he knew he should leave but also that he knew he was going to stay. He gave in to those deeper desires and got down on his knees.

Now I’m really getting into it, this guy sucking me off, a huge load built up, knowing that this guy is going to have my 2-month load of cum in his stomach and the taste of it still in his mouth when he goes back outside. As much as I wanted to bend him over the bed and fuck his brains out again, I was loving this blowjob and was getting off on making him swallow it. As I got closer I started to get more and more into it and started caring less about who might be on the other side of the door overhearing us. I don’t know how long it took but when I finally burst this guy was a trooper and swallowed every drop. I’m sure it might quite a nice thick mouthful, because when he stood up, swallowed again, he said, “wow that was a big load”. Yeah, no shit!

Number of times cumming in 2014: 5 (plus 1 bonus shot; only 7 left!)
Current time without cumming: 0 days, 0 hours
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Sucking cock

Happily the light was much better for this photo.

I don’t know whether it was because I was still on a high from swallowing that guy’s load yesterday, a rush of endorphins from the start of the long weekend, or both, but tonight I felt like I was in overdrive. I don’t think I’ll go into too many details this time, but suffice to say that by about 9 pm I had sucked off a hot thick latino guy in a park by my place despite the freezing temperatures (I tried to take a pic but there was not enough light), and by 11 pm I had a new video to post on xtube.

Thinking back on it I wonder if I was giving in a bit too much, and even now maybe admitting a bit too much by putting it on the record here, but having still not cum in weeks it just felt right. That’s a theme that continued a bit later when I started texting with Hawk, and he started saying things like this:

I think about forcing a collar on you all the time.

I want you to resign yourself to wearing a collar everywhere.

Last time he had locked the collar on me, we had negotiated that I would only wear it for a week, using the excuse that I had a date with a guy the next weekend and didn’t want to scare him off. When he unlocked it a week later, he told me to take the collar and the lock home, but kept the key for himself. I think he like the thought that if I caved and locked it back on, I wouldn’t have any escape without his permission. With that context, he sent this:

I feel like it’s time to lock it on you and keep it on, and if you want to talk logistics and fears we do that while it’s locked on you.

Throughout our whole conversation I was incredibly turned on, knowing he was right, knowing I wanted to feel the collar locked on and feel the significance of being his pup without any negotiations about end dates or when I might need the collar off for whatever lame excuse my nerves might want to come up with. Immediately after that last text, he said:

We can continue this tomorrow, I think it’s time for bed.

But I had to text back

Too late.

and told him to check twitter, where I had posted the evidence of what I had done by way of my first Vine. Turn on the audio and listen to that click.

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I was on the fence about going to the gym tonight, but at around 8pm I got an email from an exhibitionist friend saying he’d be there, so that settled it.

I wasn’t sure what time he was going to be there, but I figured I’d just go and try my luck. After my workout I stripped and walked into the showers, on my way glancing into the sauna and seeing that my friend was there buck naked, but with quite a few other people around.

I went to the showers first to rinse off the sweat from my workout, expecting to go join the guys in the sauna in a minute, but my buddy came out and took the shower right next to me before I was done. Even though there were one or two other people in the room, he faced the wall and started getting hard. I faced outward, with my eye on the door and the guy showering across from us, and whenever I could I reached out and grabbed his now rock hard cock. Whenever the other guys had their backs to us, we jerked each other off, or he grabbed at my ass. I wanted to suck him off but our positions weren’t right to let me keep an eye on the door while doing it. Happily the traffic was pretty low, though, and he both bent down to suck me off for a few seconds, and also got his cock up against my ass hole at one point. How fucking hot it would have been to feel him slide inside right there in the open, if only for a second!

I noted through this that I was able to get hard and jerk off without that feeling like I was too close to the edge that I’ve described before. I think either I’ve crossed some point where I just know I’m not going to be able to cum so I don’t feel the pressure to go over the edge, or that because I’ve been working all day instead of edging all day I’m just not as close to the edge as I usually have been. Anyway, I got fucking hard there in the open showers and loved it.

After a lot of grabbing and jerking each other, my friend looked like he was getting ready to cum. Standing facing the wall but turned towards me, and with my eye on the door, he jerked himself off while I rubbed the head of his cock and had my hand ready to catch his load. Luckily nobody came in as he went over the edge and I watched my palm fill up with his cum. As soon as he was done I dumped what I had caught into my mouth and swallowed. Not quite as hot as if I had swallowed it straight from the source but it still felt good to do.

I continued playing with myself, staying hard, and showing off, enjoying this new found ability to jerk off without worrying about cumming, but still didn’t let myself get too far. Six weeks and counting! Hoping to find the right scene to get off on soon, though.

Number of times cumming in 2014: 2 (only 10 left!)
Time without cumming: 42 days, 23 hours
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Let me clarify one thing: only cumming 12 times does not imply that I’m only going to have sex 12 times.

When I got back to Toronto, a friend invited me to join him at Steamworks, you know, for the soothing hot water in the baths. Totally G rated.

Despite having spent two weeks out of town, horned out of my mind most of that time, and really craving a lot of action, I knew going in that after just flying across the country and hauling my luggage around on public transit, I wasn’t going to be up for very much.

My friend and I hung out for a bit chatting in the hot tub, and wandered around a bit together, but eventually started taking little side trips on our own to see what was up.

Cruising the baths is always sort of strange. Walking around the halls there were some of the usual sights: other guys making laps, some standing at the end of a hall watching others going by, doors open with asses pointed out looking to be filled, and some guys sitting on beds jacking off. Every once in a while all these disparate bodies would clump together as something interesting was happening almost like a bunch of ants on a caterpillar. What a flattering comparison, eh?

Of course I can’t judge…. I admit I was the caterpillar once or twice that night.

In one of the dark rooms I was felt a couple hands on me as I felt my way through the hall. Looking back I saw two guys, one latino one black, both good looking, and both already stroking. I stepped back into a corner and got on my knees, switching back and forth between the two. The black guy had a huge cock, but the kind that always seems too big and thick to actually get hard. The other guy was hard, but seemed more interested in watching me suck the black guy. This was one of the times where there were half a dozen other guys behind them watching and clogging the hallway. I decided I wasn’t really into it, stood up, and left, leaving the ants to scatter.

Later in the steam room, I sat on a bench, towel open, playing with myself a bit. Another guy, taller than me and tough-guy looking, probably late 30s, sat opposite me one level higher. Of course, I watched him jacking off and eventually made eye contact. He stood, and with his cock about a foot in front of my face I knew what to do. He didn’t last long, and after only a minute I felt him push my head off and heard the sounds of cum hitting the floor.

I circled back to the dark room again and just loitered there a bit. There was a really cute white guy who was obviously very shy and not sure what to do. I kept looking his way and like a ninja cat he kept coming a little closer. I think he wanted physical contact more than anything, and held one arm around me tight face to face while the other went reaching under my towel. We jerked each other off for a while like that. Later, when he came, he was holding my head tight and made me swallow every drop. After he stood in a daze like he was completely exhausted and couldn’t move. I gave him a hug, said thanks and told him to have a good night, and went on my way.

At one point wandering around the halls, I passed a room with a guy in hockey gear—helmet, shoulder pads, elbow pads, jock, gloves, shin pads—jerking off. I was intrigued so I went in to see what was up. He was very verbal and very into the hockey thing. “Yeah suck that hockey player cock! You like hockey player cock!? I’m a fucking maple leafs player, suck that hockey cock!” Yeah, that was enough. I said “ok, thanks, see you around” and left. I mean really, say “hockey cock” ten times fast and tell me you’re still turned on.

These encounters were all happening between bouts of wandering the halls, sitting watching some porn, and just chilling in the hot tub, so by now I was actually pretty bored and thinking I was ready to go. Going for one last wander, I saw a buff young asian guy going into the dark room and decided to follow him in. He seemed interested, so I went up to him and we started groping each other a bit. He had a really nice cock, probably 7″, nice consistent girth but not too thick, and a nice curve upward. I sucked him off a bit but he was very non-reactive, just standing there. I stood up and looked at him, still holding his cock, wondering if he was going to actually do anything. After a second he said “Want to take a break?” and not really sure whether he was suggesting or asking, figured it wasn’t going anywhere so said “sure”, and wandered off.

After that, I decided I was done, got dressed, and headed home. Despite having half a dozen cocks in my mouth, I’d still say nothing much exciting happened. All sort of “testing the waters” blowjobs that didn’t go anywhere (even though two guys came). Dogs sniff asses to get to know each other, I guess I suck cocks for the same reason.

By the way, it occurs to me that writing this in only my first week of blogging may give the impression that I’m trolling bathhouses every week. Really on average I tend to go no more than once or twice a year, since these kinds of nights are often duds. The hot tub is nice, though.

Written January 7th

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