masturbation

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It occurred to me that by this time in any other year since probably 1996 or 1997, I would have already cum at least 12 times, give or take a day. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve averaged about twice a day ever since I learned how (by mimicking a back and forth motion I saw some kids making with their fist; I’ve always been a scientist and I wanted to do an experiment to see what happened if I did the same motion…)

Back in middle school and high school I used to jerk off in the shower every morning, and before bed too. My parents joked about how I took really long showers, and I wonder if they knew. Certainly if one day my son starts taking 30 minute showers I’ll know exactly what’s going on. Often at night I would jerk off in bed, but occasionally I would do it in other parts of the house or even the back yard. I was definitely a scientist by about age 12, and turns out I got off on public sex almost as early.

There was a brief time after high school when I don’t think I was able to do twice a day as regularly, though even in my first year of undergrad my roommate spent most nights at his girlfriend’s place so I had a lot of freedom to do what I wanted. Though I find it hot the idea of roommates catching each other jerk off, I wasn’t quite that much of an exhibitionist yet (but oh if I could go back in time).

After first year, when I had my own bedroom again, my routine quickly stepped back up to normal (if it had ever really dwindled that much). Sure there were days when I wouldn’t jack off, or would do it only once, but most days was at least two and I did three probably as often as I did zero. My record in a day is around 6 or 7, and since I like to really build up, that means probably a solid 8 to 12 hours jerking. The internet is a wide and wonderful place.

I have noticed in the last year or so that I don’t jerk off as much as I used to. I guess I’m getting old (compared to being 14, I mean). But even that means still averaging 4 or 5 times a week. And still plenty of times where I would jerk off but not cum, for reasons such as not finding anything worth getting off to or getting distracted by other things.

Nonetheless, after all of that, it’s January 7th. I’ve only cum twice. And I won’t cum again until February. This is going to be a big adjustment.

Number of times cumming in 2014: 2
Time without cumming: 5 days, 20 hours
Time locked in chastity: 2 days, 13 hours
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Now, to justify this one, I should clarify that I had completely forgotten about doing some kind of chastity/self-control challenge during 2014. That discussion didn’t happen until the next day.

But for now, it’s January 1st. I just got home from a very hot threesome in the woods, shower, on all fours, and my first cumshot of the year. I was still horny as all hell and what’s a horny guy to do when he’s at home at night before bed? I went on the internet.

I estimate I took an hour or two, as I do like to take my time, but I don’t even recall what I was looking at when I shot my second load of the year. So, really, this one was a complete waste. But I didn’t know then that I only had 11 more left. And now only 10.

The next day, when I talked to Hawk about this challenge and I told him I had already cum twice, he was actually lenient and said we could start when I flew back. I wouldn’t have it though. I didn’t want to start off cheating. So, no, I decided if I’m going to do this challenge I’m going to do it right. Good thing I talked to Hawk when I did otherwise this challenge would have gotten very difficult very quickly! As it is I am going to have to skip one month sometime in the year. And I don’t even know when that’ll be; those details are up to Hawk.

Two shots down, 10 to go.

Written January 6th

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For the entire calendar year of 2014, I am only allowed to cum 12 times. Once per month.

Basically the idea is this: not cumming means I stay horny, and being horny makes me more submissive, more obedient, more in tune with what turns me on, more willing to act on my desires, and makes it way more fulfilling. Despite being an exhibitionist, I’m surprisingly reserved, and encouraging myself to be more open, honest, and active sexually is a major life process for me. A lot of my kinks and fantasies will be laid bare on this site I’m sure. Pun not intended.

The idea came about while talking about my friend Hawk about chastity. I’ve always liked edging, or jerking off for a really long time to build up a bigger orgasm. In November, almost on a whim, I stopped jacking off to see what it was like. I promised Hawk that I wouldn’t cum until he let me. At first it was just going to be a week (already longer than I’d ever gone without jacking off since the first time I had done it) but our schedules just didn’t line up, and it was three weeks before we finally got together. He gave me one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had that night.

Having promised to Hawk that I wouldn’t jack off was the only reason I was actually able to do it. I like to commit. The specific idea of only cumming once a month was originally just a hot idea spoken on a hormone high—the thought of how horny and submissive and willing I’d be at the end of each month—but I want to commit to it. Make it real. Make it official. Lock my cock up. (This isn’t a challenge to stay locked all year, but I know from experience how tempting it can be to cheat, so I’ll take any help I can get.)

I’m keeping this blog to keep me on track, and to encourage those ideals of openness and honesty about my sexual side, to stop segregating my sexual and non-sexual lives (in the same way that I’ve been doing with my twitter and tumblr accounts). I won’t describe every sexual encounter or fantasy I have, but I will describe a lot. I’m also going to keep stats on my progress including how long I’ve gone without cumming, how long I’ve been locked in chastity, and how many times I’ve cum so far. Encouragement from supporters will be appreciated I’m sure.

I’ve already cum twice this year (posts coming soon), so I’m starting at a disadvantage. I only get to cum ten more times before New Year’s 2015 (and that’s “cum”, not “orgasm”, as Hawk was quick to point out). Hawk has suggested I might be able to earn extra cumshots by doing particularly daring or ambitious things, but we both agree that those should be very hard, such that I only get one or two extra shots all year (“14 cumshots in 2014” has a nice ring to it) if any at all. More likely, Hawk will be pushing me all year to achieve all kinds of new heights so that each month my cumshot is really well earned. All of those challenges and their rewards will be documented here.

As a final note, though I’m writing this on January 5th, I’m back dating this post to January 1st since that’s when the challenge officially started. Generally posts will be dated to coincide with the date they describe, so that when I look back on this the chronology will be correct (i.e., how much time passed between any two events).

Now on to the fun!

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