jerking

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I dropped two more loads this week and there’s really not much to say about them unfortunately.

The first on Thursday was chatting with an exhibitionist friend online on Thursday, taking about all the crazy stuff we want to do, fueled up a bit by my story of cumming in the lake the previous weekend.

The second was really just a lazy Saturday afternoon. Like how I used to spend a lot of my Saturdays, if there wasn’t anything specific to do I’d just jerk off all afternoon. I still do that a lot except now if I go too long I start getting way too tempted… and yesterday I just didn’t have the will power. So that’s two more cumshots.

The third and last for the week was because I was going back to fill in some of the backlog of the blog, and in writing up my post about sabulum on xtube, couldn’t help but jerk off again watching his videos. His cute smile when he finally gets his speedo back in this one is what set me over the edge this time.

Clearly, in case you haven’t noticed, even if you exclude the one I had called a bonus cumshot earlier in the year, I’ve cum more than 12 times now. Nonetheless, the spirit of the challenge continues! I’m going to try to keep it to about once a month for the rest of the year, and see how that goes. I’m aiming now to keep it under 20 total.

I just need to find something else to do with my weekends…

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With my new full time job I have to wonder how anybody even has time to jerk off during the week! My usually 1-2 hour sessions won’t work with this schedule; I’ve barely had time to even consider it, which is good considering my current state. Nonetheless, tonight I had some fun.

I happened to be in the neighbourhood tonight with about half an hour to kill, so I stopped by that cruising washroom again.

When I walked in, I saw that there was only one person at the urinal (the furthest one from the door on the other side of the wall) and one person in the corner stall. I tried to walk in quietly so I could see if there was anything going on without making everybody scurry away, but it looked like nothing was happening. I went to the other urinal on the other side of the wall, next to the one guy. He looked like a student; early twenties, blond, shaggy, tall, and notably he had put his bag and jacket on the floor. I thought that meant he was here to stay a while but almost as soon as I had my dick out at the urinal he grabbed his stuff and left.

Then it was just me and the guy in the stall… but after about 30 seconds, the other guy came back. He had moved to a urinal on the other side of the wall, and the three of us just held our positions quietly for a while. I think once he was satisfied that I wasn’t here to just piss and leave, he moved back to my side of the wall and his hard dick was in view in no time. I had mine out getting hard, but still not jerking too much lest I cum. I loved the way he was showing off though.

When he took a step back, I reached over and started jacking him off. Nice big thick cock that felt good to wrap my hand around. He leaned back and was enjoying it, until we heard someone coming and went back to our spots. The new guy coming went to one of the urinals on the other side of the wall, and Blondie kept jacking at the urinal. He was safe from being seen since I blocked any eye-lines from new people walking in and he would see someone coming around from the other side. What was extra hot though was that you could hear the sound of his arm moving—fapfapfapfap—from the rustling of his jacket. There was no pretending now; both the stall guy and the new guy must have known what was happening.

After a minute it was clear the new guy wasn’t here to just piss and leave either. Blondie stepped back from the urinal, and instead of grabbing it with my hand this time I went down to suck on it. As I bent over, I saw the guy in the stall peeking his head over the door to see what was going on, and the new guy shuffling around the corner. I didn’t care though; I knew what they were here for and didn’t care if they saw me sucking this guy off.

Blondie was really getting into it too. He stepped way back from the urinal, leaned against the wall, and let his pants and boxers drop to mid thigh as he pulled his shirt up. He was really hard, moaning, leaking precum. The new guy got on his knees and started sucking Blondie’s balls while I went back and forth from sucking him to stroking him with my saliva as lube. At about this point the guy in the stall opened his door and stepped out, nice long cock in hand.

All the attention was on Blondie now. There were a few moments where we could hear something and started to cover up, but we weren’t interrupted. After one of these, I thought it was hot how Blondie had to struggle a bit to pull his pants up from his knees and step back to the urinal. If someone had walked in, even behind the partition he probably would have been seen before he had covered up. Even then, though, he kept jacking off full blast at the urinal. So when the coast was clear again, and I was back to sucking his cock, I grabbed his jeans and boxers and pulled them all the way down to the floor. I should have started unbuttoning his shirt too while the other guys worked his cock.

Blondie is totally into it now, with me jerking and sucking him, new guy on his knees occasionally sucking the balls, and the other guy making out with him and running his hands up and down his body. After a few minutes it was too much and he moans out “I’m cumming” as I jerk his cock. I really wanted to see him shoot all over the guy on his knees, get cum all over his shirt and see how he reacted, but he was too quick and took it all in his mouth. Stall guy immediately stepped back into his stall and I think shot his load into the toilet. (What a waste!)

As blondie put his clothes back on and stall guy tidied himself up, I stood back at the urinal and waited until they both left. New guy was still there on the other side of the wall and poked his head around to see what I was up to, but I wasn’t very interested in him and I was running out of time, so decided to head out myself.

Some night when I have more time, I want to get that corner stall and actually strip down so when I open the door, there’s no hiding. Probably some night when I’m not quite as close to the edge as I am now, that is, but some night with a camera in hand too I should hope. For tonight, though, it was a fun stop-over.

Number of times cumming in 2014: 2 (only 10 left!)
Time without cumming: 35 days, 22 hours
Longest time without cumming: 35 days, 22 hours
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With my cage off, saw that as incentive to go to the gym. I say that because I know that Hawk (who I’m starting to think of as my trainer) has designs to make me keep the cage on even changing and showering in the locker room. So, while it’s off, I gotta take advantage of the freedom.

However, Hawk’s influence was still felt. This is my new gym towel, inspired by an idea he had to make sure I’m never covered up:

My new gym towel is a little small

I’m red-faced to prove that I actually went to work out, not just cruise the locker room.

That towel didn’t stay on long, anyway. Before my workout I had been chatting with a fellow exhibitionist on truenudists.com. I told him I was going to the gym, and since he has a membership at the same one, said he’d come join me in the sauna.

After a quick shower, I went in and saw him and one other guy there; an older but still fit guy. Both of them sitting on towels but not covered up, letting everything hang out in the open for all to see. Just the way I like it, and just the way I joined them. There were other people around, but nobody stayed in the sauna with us for long. As we made small talk all three of us, as is apt to happen, gradually moved from quick glances and “adjusting” ourselves to pretty much blatant jerking off.

Importantly, let me remind you of something. At this point my stats page would have said:

Time without cumming: 8 days, 22 hours

So, I had to be very careful about getting too hard. After almost 9 days, I’m at a point where just getting hard makes me feel like I’m ready to burst. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an amazing feeling, but one that’s really hard not to embrace (har har). I have pretty crap endurance for saunas anyway, so I went into the showers to cool off. Both of the guys eventually made their way there, and we continued showing off to each other. The guy I had been chatting with online took the shower right next to me and was fully hard, sticking up and out, in a way that makes my exhibitionist self go crazy. I absolutely love it when guys have the balls to do that in a public place. Don’t get me wrong, he was discreet about it when others were around, but when it was just the three of us he reveled in jerking it for us, or even letting me get my hands on it. And I did. I didn’t let him get his hands on mine for long (for obvious reasons), but he was just as happy exploring my ass a bit when he got the chance.

Once I was as clean as I was ever going to get, I decided it was time to move along, and broke up the party. The older guy wanted to come along with one or both of us somewhere, and though I love showing off to anybody who will watch and love watching anybody who wants to show off, he wasn’t my type. The other guy, too, suggested coming back to my place (just the two of us) but I decided to put that off until another night. I’m sure we will run into each other in the sauna again soon anyway!

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It occurred to me that by this time in any other year since probably 1996 or 1997, I would have already cum at least 12 times, give or take a day. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve averaged about twice a day ever since I learned how (by mimicking a back and forth motion I saw some kids making with their fist; I’ve always been a scientist and I wanted to do an experiment to see what happened if I did the same motion…)

Back in middle school and high school I used to jerk off in the shower every morning, and before bed too. My parents joked about how I took really long showers, and I wonder if they knew. Certainly if one day my son starts taking 30 minute showers I’ll know exactly what’s going on. Often at night I would jerk off in bed, but occasionally I would do it in other parts of the house or even the back yard. I was definitely a scientist by about age 12, and turns out I got off on public sex almost as early.

There was a brief time after high school when I don’t think I was able to do twice a day as regularly, though even in my first year of undergrad my roommate spent most nights at his girlfriend’s place so I had a lot of freedom to do what I wanted. Though I find it hot the idea of roommates catching each other jerk off, I wasn’t quite that much of an exhibitionist yet (but oh if I could go back in time).

After first year, when I had my own bedroom again, my routine quickly stepped back up to normal (if it had ever really dwindled that much). Sure there were days when I wouldn’t jack off, or would do it only once, but most days was at least two and I did three probably as often as I did zero. My record in a day is around 6 or 7, and since I like to really build up, that means probably a solid 8 to 12 hours jerking. The internet is a wide and wonderful place.

I have noticed in the last year or so that I don’t jerk off as much as I used to. I guess I’m getting old (compared to being 14, I mean). But even that means still averaging 4 or 5 times a week. And still plenty of times where I would jerk off but not cum, for reasons such as not finding anything worth getting off to or getting distracted by other things.

Nonetheless, after all of that, it’s January 7th. I’ve only cum twice. And I won’t cum again until February. This is going to be a big adjustment.

Number of times cumming in 2014: 2
Time without cumming: 5 days, 20 hours
Time locked in chastity: 2 days, 13 hours
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Now, to justify this one, I should clarify that I had completely forgotten about doing some kind of chastity/self-control challenge during 2014. That discussion didn’t happen until the next day.

But for now, it’s January 1st. I just got home from a very hot threesome in the woods, shower, on all fours, and my first cumshot of the year. I was still horny as all hell and what’s a horny guy to do when he’s at home at night before bed? I went on the internet.

I estimate I took an hour or two, as I do like to take my time, but I don’t even recall what I was looking at when I shot my second load of the year. So, really, this one was a complete waste. But I didn’t know then that I only had 11 more left. And now only 10.

The next day, when I talked to Hawk about this challenge and I told him I had already cum twice, he was actually lenient and said we could start when I flew back. I wouldn’t have it though. I didn’t want to start off cheating. So, no, I decided if I’m going to do this challenge I’m going to do it right. Good thing I talked to Hawk when I did otherwise this challenge would have gotten very difficult very quickly! As it is I am going to have to skip one month sometime in the year. And I don’t even know when that’ll be; those details are up to Hawk.

Two shots down, 10 to go.

Written January 6th

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For the entire calendar year of 2014, I am only allowed to cum 12 times. Once per month.

Basically the idea is this: not cumming means I stay horny, and being horny makes me more submissive, more obedient, more in tune with what turns me on, more willing to act on my desires, and makes it way more fulfilling. Despite being an exhibitionist, I’m surprisingly reserved, and encouraging myself to be more open, honest, and active sexually is a major life process for me. A lot of my kinks and fantasies will be laid bare on this site I’m sure. Pun not intended.

The idea came about while talking about my friend Hawk about chastity. I’ve always liked edging, or jerking off for a really long time to build up a bigger orgasm. In November, almost on a whim, I stopped jacking off to see what it was like. I promised Hawk that I wouldn’t cum until he let me. At first it was just going to be a week (already longer than I’d ever gone without jacking off since the first time I had done it) but our schedules just didn’t line up, and it was three weeks before we finally got together. He gave me one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had that night.

Having promised to Hawk that I wouldn’t jack off was the only reason I was actually able to do it. I like to commit. The specific idea of only cumming once a month was originally just a hot idea spoken on a hormone high—the thought of how horny and submissive and willing I’d be at the end of each month—but I want to commit to it. Make it real. Make it official. Lock my cock up. (This isn’t a challenge to stay locked all year, but I know from experience how tempting it can be to cheat, so I’ll take any help I can get.)

I’m keeping this blog to keep me on track, and to encourage those ideals of openness and honesty about my sexual side, to stop segregating my sexual and non-sexual lives (in the same way that I’ve been doing with my twitter and tumblr accounts). I won’t describe every sexual encounter or fantasy I have, but I will describe a lot. I’m also going to keep stats on my progress including how long I’ve gone without cumming, how long I’ve been locked in chastity, and how many times I’ve cum so far. Encouragement from supporters will be appreciated I’m sure.

I’ve already cum twice this year (posts coming soon), so I’m starting at a disadvantage. I only get to cum ten more times before New Year’s 2015 (and that’s “cum”, not “orgasm”, as Hawk was quick to point out). Hawk has suggested I might be able to earn extra cumshots by doing particularly daring or ambitious things, but we both agree that those should be very hard, such that I only get one or two extra shots all year (“14 cumshots in 2014” has a nice ring to it) if any at all. More likely, Hawk will be pushing me all year to achieve all kinds of new heights so that each month my cumshot is really well earned. All of those challenges and their rewards will be documented here.

As a final note, though I’m writing this on January 5th, I’m back dating this post to January 1st since that’s when the challenge officially started. Generally posts will be dated to coincide with the date they describe, so that when I look back on this the chronology will be correct (i.e., how much time passed between any two events).

Now on to the fun!

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